T’was, Sadly, Inevitable. Smart Condoms.

March 3, 2017 in Daily Bulletin

Caitlin Petrakovitz wrote:

  • They’re called i.Con Smart Condoms, because of course they are.
  • Not only is the product name questionable, it’s also inaccurate. The $70 device is not a condom. That’d be expensive and wasteful (…or gross). It’s a ring to be attached to the base of a condom (no actually, still gross).
  • It’ll measure thrust velocity, calorie burn, skin temperature, and, of course, your iGirth.
  • And the device will track how many times you’ve had sex. Though, let’s face it, the type of people who want to track that aren’t the type that need a device to do it for them.
  • Purchasers of this iDevice will be able to address their iNsecurities by comparing their iStats against other iUsers.
  • They’ll also be able to publicly publish their metrics on social media for the world to maybe validate their being.
  • It (the device) charges via mini USB. It lasts eight hours (also, it goes without saying, just the device).

Read more on CNet.