You Can Hire Professional Mourners

March 22, 2016 in Daily Bulletin

Professional MournersThe peer-less writers over at Cracked looked into the business of professional funeral mourners:

  • Funerals are sad. Funerals where nobody shows up are even sadder. So family and friends may hire mourners.
  • Being able to cry on demand is key. Preparing by watching movies like Titanic and Schindler’s List before the event can help.
  • Some¬†women in the business¬†have been known to track their menstrual cycle to determine how difficult it will be to cry.
  • Professional mourners have to come up with convincing back-stories to explain why they’re so distraught over an individual’s passing, but have never been seen before by most of the deceased’s acquaintances.
  • The actors need to have a working understanding of how people from different religions and cultures commemorate their dead.
The full article is, as with most Cracked articles, quite entertaining. You should read it here.
Source: Cracked